If my life were a TV show -
It would be in Season: 2. Three people saw the pilot, a couple of dozen saw series 1, but now everyone's watching.
It would be broadcast at: midnight for highlights on Channel 4 (Davina McCall), all day on E4 (Ant+Dec), and the 24/7 live feed on the Internet.
My favourite character would be: me! (If I were doing the writing, anyway, 'cause then I'd get all the best lines and could bed whomever I fancied.) -- keeping scarlatti's answer.
My least favourite character would be: that's not fair. Read my LJ -- I don't think I have a least favourite.
I would ship: scarlatti/dougs and flick/dougs (keeping scarlatti's answer again) ... And all the standard, extant pairings.
I would slash: me/lproven, me/whotheheckami, scarlatti/yonmei, tamaranth/green_amber, Steff/Elvis/jamesb/lostcarpark as a foursome, flick with anyone who routinely wears a corset, missfairchild as the OTP. hawkida/ang_grrr, obviously. And if you want me to be cruel and unusual, I could try Victor/Randy. Ant and Dec must be out there already.
I would write fanfic about: breaking taboos. Convention sex. The reactions of mundanes to fannish activity. Relationship angst, especially in unrequited/unreciprocated situations.
I would write AUs in which: people communicated. Properly. At flaming last.
I would watch the show: compulsively and continuously.
6:47. I'll post it now.