Douglas Spencer (dougs) wrote,
Douglas Spencer
dougs

  • Mood:

That thing I don't talk about.

Yes, there is something that I don't talk about. Well, rarely, at least on LJ.
And if someone asks just the right question in the Fred meme, I don't know quite how I'll answer.

It happens very rarely. But it happened last night. At about 11pm. Again at about half past three. And then again just now. Usually when it happens, it happens more than once before it stops.
It's awful. And when the symptoms strike, it's totally disabling, totally crippling, and there's nothing I can do about it.
In fact, the symptoms only strike as badly because there's nothing I can do about it. It's a sort of consequence of the nature of the condition. But a chat window opened and I was persuaded by scarlatti to talk about it a bit.
Edited and abridged:
D (03:35:57): Nothing works.
D (03:36:05): Sorry.
S (03:36:05): Sleep...please/...
S (03:36:11): I'm worried about you!
D (03:36:15): I'll sleep.
[snip]
S (03:54:24): I'm sitting here in tears.
S (03:54:42): I want to hold you and make you feel better. But i can't! :(
D (03:55:25): I love you.
S (03:55:30): I love you.
D (03:55:34): I'm so lucky to have you.
S (03:56:05): [description of condition] ?
D (03:56:31): [slightly refined description of condition]
D (03:56:38): It's awful.
S (03:56:38): It's true.
S (03:56:55): And it's awful. And I'm so sorry this night has been so miserable. :(
D (03:57:08): It doesn't happen often.
S (03:57:35): But it's so miserable when it does. And I'm so helpless. :(
D (03:57:51): You and me both.
S (03:58:03): I know.
S (03:58:20): You have to sleep, though....
D (03:58:28): Goodnight.
S (03:58:32): Goodnight


Please don't press me for details. This is just here for the record. I've left comments on, but please don't press me for details.

It's not been a good night, and I'm glad I'm not seeing any clients today.
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