Douglas Spencer (dougs) wrote,
Douglas Spencer

  • Mood:

Frustration and depression.

I just had a conversation in Chat about why I don't like whiney/whingey posts on LJ.
I normally take the view that there's too much of that sort of thing here, and I don't want to contribute to it.

I wrote a week ago that there would be a redundancy imminently, one of the three engineers, either Ben or David or myself. We learnt today that it is David who is going, and it hasn't made any of us feel any better.

Today I was at a client for a regularly-scheduled general support day. It's Ben's client, but he's on holiday. It was quiet, not much going on. There were half-a-dozen minor user-level issues which arose, and nothing else. And it was quiet, and there was not much going on, because this client had a wave of redundancies and a bit of demerging and disposal about a month ago, and there's zero morale and zero motivation and negative atmosphere. And of course it rubs off.

And then, when scarlatti came online ready to chat, I was busy doing end-of-year stuff that has to be in before midnight. And I hate disappointing her, and it reinforced once again how far apart we are from each other, with all the attendant difficulties that that entails.

We're both feeling sort of down about the prospects. We both feel we need to meet again, but our next chance to do so isn't for ages yet. It seems that there's not much chance of progress on the relationship front until that happens. It seems that my conservative views on marriage (patiently tolerated but not widely shared) -- or, more accurately, the difficulty I have with starting relationships generally -- are another source of disappointment.

I said when I started that I don't like whiney-whingey posts on LJ. I think I just demonstrated why.

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