First real kiss: A double-date with my brother -- his girlfriend brought along her younger sister. We'd each been coached in how to kiss by our elder siblings -- it was a total disaster because we knocked teeth and hers got chipped.
First job: With IBM Entry Systems Europe, working on PCCSS, an interactive multimedia marketing and training tool for PC dealerships, during my gap year between December 1983 and September 1984.
First screen name: cstjjbl or maugg. Swiftly followed by Chiyo.
First self-purchased album: I can't remember -- certainly some choral work I was involved with at university -- possibly Elgar's "Music Makers"?
First funeral: I don't know. A relative, certainly. I've been going to funerals from an early age, they're part of the scenery of growing up.
First pets: I didn't have pets. Didn't want them, particularly. And then sometime in the early nineties, Anne got me two chinchillas -- Keats and Shelley.
First piercing: Not yet.
First true love: True love? That would be Anne. I'd been misled previously, but I recognised the real thing when it happened.
First big trip: Going on six-hour car drives and putting up tents on our arrival was something we'd been doing since before I was born. The first different big trip was to Paris as an exchange when I was about 14 or 15.
Last big car ride: To and from Peterborough for the ZZ9 AGM.
Last kiss: something chaste from Flick at the end of the pub night yesterday.
Last good cry: How do you have a good cry? I've cried after upsetting scarlatti recently, and also in frustration when I couldn't get online at times.
Last movie seen: I don't watch movies. I saw X-Men 2 on the flight back from Washington DC in September.
Last beverage drank: I had a mocha latte from the shop on platform 1 of Richmond station on the way home tonight.
Last food consumed: Just finished a kebab.
Last phone call: From David, a former colleague, recently redundant, asking about symbolic links for SysV init scripts on his server at home.
Last TV show watched: E4 is on, but I'm not watching it.
Last shoes worn: I'm still wearing them -- dull and boring black shoes for work.
Last CD played: Some African singers.
Last item bought: That kebab referred to a few questions back.
Last soda drank: I have a glass of diet Coke on the go at the moment.
Last ice cream eaten: Some days ago, a complete half-litre tub of Ben+Jerry's Phish Food.
Last shirt worn: It's still on. A white one, with a collar and cuffs.