The difficulty which faces me is as follows:
If I drink too much (as is the intention), I can't drive home.
If I stay until closing time (as is the intention), I will have missed the last train home.
The proposed solution is as follows:
There will be a competition.
I will offer a free Saturday morning's computer and network consultancy to the lucky winner, for use on their home computers.
To have a chance to win this highly valuable prize, all you have to do is:
a) Be someone I know.
b) Live in or near London.
c) Take me home with you after the pub shuts.
d) Find me a bit of floor to sleep on.
e) Ply me with strong coffee in the morning.
If your computer problems are particularly intractable or entertaining, I might even have lunch and carry on consulting into the afternoon.
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