Slightly edited for dramatic effect ...
"What is there to cook?"
"Well, there's some chicken in the fridge."
"Excellent. Where do you keep the lemon juice?
"I'm sorry, I don't have any."
"Ah. Soy sauce?"
"No, sorry."
"Cornflour?"
"Umm ... no."
"Any flour at all? Arrowroot?"
"No."
"Okay."
*pause*
"What have you got?"
"I have mushrooms."
"Great! Where's the butter?"
"Ummm ..."
We had chicken, red peppers, onions and mushrooms stir-fried with garlic salt, oregano and nutmeg. We pinged a jacket potato as well. And it was followed by tangerine-flavoured jelly beans.