After a pleasant evening mindlessly pottering around in the kitchen, the result is a huge saucepan full of bolognese bubbling gently to itself.
I reached for the tall jar on the corner of the worktop. It is mysteriously light and, when I shake it, disconcertingly silent.
My worst fears are realised -- there is no spaghetti. In fact, there seems to be no pasta of any kind, except macaroni.
So the culinary delight prepared for tonight will be Spud Bolognese, that noble Anglo-Itallian dish.