Douglas Spencer (dougs) wrote,
Douglas Spencer

101 Best British Foods List, perverted for my own purposes (text NSFW)

Various people have linked to a list of 101 best British foods.

A piece of Chat Log between scarlatti and myself:

S: Have you seen that 101 Best British Foods list?
S: 101 is haggis.
D: I've dipped into it.
S: Looks like a comprehensive list.
D: I think he had to stretch the list a bit to get haggis in.
S: Sometimes you have to stretch a bit to get it in.
D: Ways in which haggis is like fisting, #427
S: I doubt the list would be that long
D: That sounds like a challenge.

So then I had to produce the following ...

Ten reasons why Haggis is like Fisting:

10. The very concept makes people shudder.
9. Some people just never learn to cope with it.
8. You can't adequately describe it until you've tried it.
7. People go to specialised clubs to enjoy it.
6. It's often accompanied by ritual.
5. It's thought to be illegal in certain states.
4. It's ideally suited to a person who is wearing a kilt.
3. It's worse if you think about what goes into it.
2. Julian Clary is required not to mention it on live television.

And finally, the top reason why Haggis is like Fisting:

1. Although the standard advice is to wash the hands before you enjoy it, some people still feel the overwhelming need to wash their hands afterwards.

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