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Jokes for specialists - Songs of innocence and of experience [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Douglas Spencer

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Jokes for specialists [Sep. 8th, 2006|11:37 am]
Douglas Spencer
This is further to a poll I did a couple of weeks ago.

Poll #816456 Are these jokes funny?

"What are the chances of someone explaining Markov Chains to me today?" "That depends. Did anyone explain them to you yesterday?"

I understood it and it's Very funny
2(3.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.8%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
21(39.6%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

There are 10 types of people -- those who understand binary and those who don't.

I understood it and it's Very funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
27(50.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
7(13.0%)
I didn't understand it
0(0.0%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What goes "H0 H0 H0?" Santa Claus making a type II error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
0(0.0%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
9(17.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
9(17.0%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
4(7.5%)

What is the integral of one over cabin? Houseboat.

I understood it and it's Very funny
1(1.9%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
10(18.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.7%)

What says "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"? It's a parroty error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
14(26.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
29(54.7%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.4%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A cop pulls Heisenberg over and asks him if he knows how fast he was going. He replies "No, but I know exactly where I am".

I understood it and it's Very funny
23(42.6%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
17(31.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.3%)
I didn't understand it
6(11.1%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
2(3.7%)

If a cow falls over in a forest and no-one is there to hear it, what sound does it make? Mu.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
22(41.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
14(26.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please". "Certainly, sir. That'll be 80p."

I understood it and it's Very funny
8(14.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
2(3.7%)
I didn't understand it
24(44.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)

What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn's Lemon.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.5%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
7(13.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
4(7.7%)
I didn't understand it
32(61.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.8%)

I say, I say, I say. f(x)? f'(x)! (derivative humour)

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.1%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
14(25.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
15(27.8%)
I didn't understand it
18(33.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

How can you tell which one is the topology major? He can't tell his coffee mug from his doughnut.

I understood it and it's Very funny
11(20.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
13(24.1%)
I didn't understand it
10(18.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A physicist was in court charged with passing a red traffic light. He claimed that the light appeared green because he was moving towards it. The magistrate agreed and let him off the charge, but then convicted him of doing 100,000 miles per second in a built-up area.

I understood it and it's Very funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
20(37.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(14.8%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Elephant kangaroo sin(θ).

I understood it and it's Very funny
3(5.7%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(34.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(15.1%)
I didn't understand it
24(45.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: watervole
2006-09-08 10:43 am (UTC)
I only understood about half of them, but most of the ones I understood made me laugh out loud and there were a couple that induced good groans.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: miramon
2006-09-08 11:49 am (UTC)
I couldn't decide whether a groan was funny or not funny (I think I picked not funny in the end). Maybe there should have been another option.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 10:52 am (UTC)
Waaa, you missed out the middle bit of my one, so it doesn't make nearly as much sense and isn't funny! If you were going to miss out any part of it, miss out the end, not the middle bit.

And there should be an option for "I vaguely understood it a bit, enough to make it funny, though I didn't get it completely."
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 10:55 am (UTC)
Oh, and on mine I ticked "understood but not funny" on the grounds that the way you've written it it isn't funny. If you'd put what I wrote, I'd have ticked "very funny."
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: childeric
2006-09-08 10:56 am (UTC)
Whoah, that's a very science-heavy collection. On the other hand, I'm not sure that there are arts'n'humanities jokes quite like that, although I'd be happy to be corrected on that.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: del_c
2006-09-08 11:08 am (UTC)
How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: quercus
2006-09-08 11:10 am (UTC)
Some of those (anything involving Heisenberg or Schrodinger) _used_ to be funny, but they've been beaten to death in the post-Fritjof Capra "hard stuff made dumb for dummies" era.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: egyptophile
2006-09-08 12:05 pm (UTC)
Yes, I feel that way about the topology one. It may have been funny once, but the teacup doughnut equivalence is so hackneyed now that it lacks any surprise element. Without that it's not funny.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nmg
2006-09-08 12:09 pm (UTC)
Dammit. I've just got the integral of one over cabin.

I'd forgotten the constant.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 12:48 pm (UTC)
The original version I posted on Dougs' previous post was:

What do you get if you integrate 1/CABIN? Log CABIN plus C, which is a houseboat

which is why I was complaining he'd missed the middle out!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)
[User Picture]From: sbisson
2006-09-08 12:15 pm (UTC)
There are some I've heard so many times that I had to tick "understood but not very funny"...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sarah_mum
2006-09-08 12:28 pm (UTC)
"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please". "Certainly, sir. That'll be 80p."

I re-read it after ticking the box, and now I get it. It is
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-user =>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please". "Certainly, sir. That'll be 80p."

I re-read it after ticking the box, and now I get it. It is <lj-user = "poggs"> level of graon-joke.
However, Parroty error made me LOL!

Is is possible to find them funny without understanding them? Aha! Heienburgs uncertainty joke.
(Reply) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 01:03 pm (UTC)
*snork*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: sarah_mum
2006-09-08 01:36 pm (UTC)
Real life incident of geek humour: On the way into my Computer Science exam, I was nervously clutching myy calculator, an ancient Casio Scientific, so old that the battery compartment was held on with a hefty band of insulating tape.
On spotting this my classmate decared "oh look, a Turing Machine".

.....maybe the nerves made it funnier. I failed CompSci in any event.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 02:29 pm (UTC)
There was no option for "this joke was funnier before Google explained it to me".
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: wehmuth
2006-09-08 02:52 pm (UTC)
"Pieces of Nine" would have been a better parroty error, it's only one bit different.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: seph_hazard
2006-09-08 05:51 pm (UTC)
[groan]
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dmw
2006-09-08 05:01 pm (UTC)
of course, one cannot cross a mosquito and a mountaineer...
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: seph_hazard
2006-09-08 05:50 pm (UTC)
I've always liked the binary one. Another favourite-though not really 'specialist', but you know-"Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft!" but then I'm sad.

I'm not as stupid as I thought. I wasn't the only one who didn't understand half of them!
(Reply) (Thread)
From: nina321
2006-09-08 06:23 pm (UTC)
it's actually a beach hut, not houseboat.

Natural log cabin plus sea... :p

I found a good one yesterday that made me actually laugh out loud.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dougs
2006-09-08 06:30 pm (UTC)
Ah, that's excellent.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ingaborg
2006-09-10 05:45 pm (UTC)
mind you the Markov chains one would be funnier if it didn't seem to have got the nature of Markov chains the wrong way round...
(Reply) (Thread)