?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Jokes for specialists - Songs of innocence and of experience — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Douglas Spencer

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Links
[Friends| (full) (people) (communities) (both) (feeds) (friendsfriends) ]
[Using| (new) (rec) (clu) (inb) (tag) (bot) (adm) (mod) (poll) ]
[Other| (DJ) (DW) (IJ) (JF) (Scribbld) ]
[Me| (AoOO) (eF) (FB) (GP) (LI) (Tu) (Tw) (Wk) ]
[Links| (AVDAR) (Exchange) (il_calmo) (LGCM) (ZZ9) ]

Jokes for specialists [Sep. 8th, 2006|11:37 am]
Douglas Spencer
This is further to a poll I did a couple of weeks ago.

Poll #816456 Are these jokes funny?

"What are the chances of someone explaining Markov Chains to me today?" "That depends. Did anyone explain them to you yesterday?"

I understood it and it's Very funny
2(3.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.8%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
21(39.6%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

There are 10 types of people -- those who understand binary and those who don't.

I understood it and it's Very funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
27(50.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
7(13.0%)
I didn't understand it
0(0.0%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What goes "H0 H0 H0?" Santa Claus making a type II error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
0(0.0%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
9(17.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
9(17.0%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
4(7.5%)

What is the integral of one over cabin? Houseboat.

I understood it and it's Very funny
1(1.9%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
10(18.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.7%)

What says "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"? It's a parroty error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
14(26.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
29(54.7%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.4%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A cop pulls Heisenberg over and asks him if he knows how fast he was going. He replies "No, but I know exactly where I am".

I understood it and it's Very funny
23(42.6%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
17(31.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.3%)
I didn't understand it
6(11.1%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
2(3.7%)

If a cow falls over in a forest and no-one is there to hear it, what sound does it make? Mu.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
22(41.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
14(26.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please". "Certainly, sir. That'll be 80p."

I understood it and it's Very funny
8(14.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
2(3.7%)
I didn't understand it
24(44.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)

What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn's Lemon.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.5%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
7(13.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
4(7.7%)
I didn't understand it
32(61.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.8%)

I say, I say, I say. f(x)? f'(x)! (derivative humour)

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.1%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
14(25.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
15(27.8%)
I didn't understand it
18(33.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

How can you tell which one is the topology major? He can't tell his coffee mug from his doughnut.

I understood it and it's Very funny
11(20.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
13(24.1%)
I didn't understand it
10(18.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A physicist was in court charged with passing a red traffic light. He claimed that the light appeared green because he was moving towards it. The magistrate agreed and let him off the charge, but then convicted him of doing 100,000 miles per second in a built-up area.

I understood it and it's Very funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
20(37.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(14.8%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Elephant kangaroo sin(θ).

I understood it and it's Very funny
3(5.7%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(34.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(15.1%)
I didn't understand it
24(45.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: dougs
2006-09-08 01:01 pm (UTC)
This particular joke was posted multiple times, and the wording as presented here was the more popular form.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 01:02 pm (UTC)
Fairy nuff, I did wonder if several people had put it.

I still think it's funnier if you actually mention the log cabin though.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: purple_peril
2006-09-08 01:47 pm (UTC)
Yes, I was wondering what had happened to the log cabin.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 02:26 pm (UTC)
Now I'm going through the list inserting log cabins to see which joke you're talking about. I'm not getting anywhere, but it is funny.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 02:33 pm (UTC)
Oh that sounds fun!

"What are the chances of someone explaining Markov Chains to me today?" "That depends. Were you in a log cabin yesterday?"

There are 10 types of people -- those who have log cabins and those who don't.


I think we have a new game!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 02:39 pm (UTC)
It bears a methodolgical similarity to the Star Wars Pants game, but will clearly revitalise that genre.

Zorn's Lemon-Flavoured Log Cabin, now even more equivalent to the Axiom of Choice!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 03:10 pm (UTC)
We could combine the two!

You came in that log cabin? You're braver than I thought.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 04:14 pm (UTC)
The classics need reworking, of course.

I find you lack of log cabin disturbing.

and

I have a log cabin feeling about this.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pigeonhed
2006-09-08 07:17 pm (UTC)
I'm a lumberjack and I'm alright,
i make log cabins
and wear sequins...?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 08:16 pm (UTC)
...our three main weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless log cabins...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: pigeonhed
2006-09-08 08:20 pm (UTC)
I don't think we're in a log cabin any more Toto

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dougs
2006-09-08 08:21 pm (UTC)
Do you write any of your poetry in this log cabin of yours?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 08:30 pm (UTC)
Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a log cabin.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dougs
2006-09-08 08:33 pm (UTC)
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the log.

Or the cabin.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: not_vacillating
2006-09-08 08:36 pm (UTC)
Live Long In Your Log Cabin.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)