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Jokes for specialists - Songs of innocence and of experience [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Douglas Spencer

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Jokes for specialists [Sep. 8th, 2006|11:37 am]
Douglas Spencer
This is further to a poll I did a couple of weeks ago.

Poll #816456 Are these jokes funny?

"What are the chances of someone explaining Markov Chains to me today?" "That depends. Did anyone explain them to you yesterday?"

I understood it and it's Very funny
2(3.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.8%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
21(39.6%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

There are 10 types of people -- those who understand binary and those who don't.

I understood it and it's Very funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
27(50.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
7(13.0%)
I didn't understand it
0(0.0%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What goes "H0 H0 H0?" Santa Claus making a type II error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
0(0.0%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
9(17.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
9(17.0%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
4(7.5%)

What is the integral of one over cabin? Houseboat.

I understood it and it's Very funny
1(1.9%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
10(18.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
31(58.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.7%)

What says "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"? It's a parroty error.

I understood it and it's Very funny
14(26.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
29(54.7%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.4%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A cop pulls Heisenberg over and asks him if he knows how fast he was going. He replies "No, but I know exactly where I am".

I understood it and it's Very funny
23(42.6%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
17(31.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
5(9.3%)
I didn't understand it
6(11.1%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
2(3.7%)

If a cow falls over in a forest and no-one is there to hear it, what sound does it make? Mu.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
22(41.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
6(11.3%)
I didn't understand it
14(26.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
5(9.4%)

"I'll have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please". "Certainly, sir. That'll be 80p."

I understood it and it's Very funny
8(14.8%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
2(3.7%)
I didn't understand it
24(44.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)

What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn's Lemon.

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.5%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
7(13.5%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
4(7.7%)
I didn't understand it
32(61.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
3(5.8%)

I say, I say, I say. f(x)? f'(x)! (derivative humour)

I understood it and it's Very funny
6(11.1%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
14(25.9%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
15(27.8%)
I didn't understand it
18(33.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

How can you tell which one is the topology major? He can't tell his coffee mug from his doughnut.

I understood it and it's Very funny
11(20.4%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
19(35.2%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
13(24.1%)
I didn't understand it
10(18.5%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

A physicist was in court charged with passing a red traffic light. He claimed that the light appeared green because he was moving towards it. The magistrate agreed and let him off the charge, but then convicted him of doing 100,000 miles per second in a built-up area.

I understood it and it's Very funny
18(33.3%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
20(37.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(14.8%)
I didn't understand it
4(7.4%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
1(1.9%)

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Elephant kangaroo sin(θ).

I understood it and it's Very funny
3(5.7%)
I understood it and it's a bit funny
18(34.0%)
I understood it and it's not very funny
8(15.1%)
I didn't understand it
24(45.3%)
I didn't understand it but it's funny anyway
0(0.0%)
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 02:51 pm (UTC)
Does psychotherapy count as a science or an art?

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Oops, I meant ladder.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: del_c
2006-09-08 04:16 pm (UTC)
What's brown and sits on a piano stool? Beethoven's First Movement.

I think the problem is that people are more familiar with the language of art than of science, so it's harder to find an art joke of which laymen will say "...no, I don't get it."
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2006-09-08 04:45 pm (UTC)
I think you're spot on. I'm really struggling to think of many arts jokes that scientists won't get.

I suppose there's always music jokes, but I'd expect non-musicians to get them quite easily.

How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None; they can't get up that high.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.


I'll get me coat.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: del_c
2006-09-08 05:38 pm (UTC)
The great Viking explorer came home from America to find he couldn't vote.
"I can't understand how it happened," said the registrar, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

It's nothing but a simple pun. I'm afraid if childeric wants a Viking history joke I wouldn't get, he or one of his colleagues is going to have to come up with it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: quercus
2006-09-08 11:03 pm (UTC)

Is this the terrible puns thread?

Twelve men were arrested on terrorism charges at a halal Chinese restaurant in London.

When asked to order, one of them replied, Shall we get some rice in?

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)