So I've bought two new handsets. They each talk wirelessly to the transmitter in the downstairs unit, and I don't have to plug the upstairs one into the phone line. This means that I can take down the wire that's laid across the bedroom floor, up the doorframe, and across the ceiling to the phone socket in the server room opposite, which is nice.
In other news, the TV remote control has been subjected to a great deal of mechanical stress. It's been dropped, it's been sat on, it's been run over by the wheels on which the stepson's office chair rides. You have to hold the housing together, and twist opposite ends of it in opposite directions in order to get the crack between the batteries and the circuit board to close properly and give the unit some power.
So I've bought a generic multipurpose programmable remote control and told it how to work the telly.
Hurrah for new toys!