Warm thanks to those of you who made any one of a variety of surreal responses.
watervole -- Many apologies, and similarly to anyone else who might have been hoping to make beautiful music with me. We'll have to revert to using ocarinas, concertinas and the like ... or singing.
cyka -- I'd be delighted to find you in my kitchen cupboard, although I suspect that you and the Stepson would end up entertaining each other by talking about Chelsea, rather than watching me slice vegetables.
johncoxon -- of course, a poll would have been better. Polls are always better.
sarah_mum -- I'm happy to pass the spare on to you, we'll explore ways in which that can be achieved.
And finally, it's been a little while since I found anyone's stray underwear in any of my kitchen cupboards. Rest assured, the_major, that if anything likely-looking crops up I'll give you a shout.
In other news, Dell's European download site has been dreadfully slow for me today. Hurrah for chipset manufacturers who make their own versions of the drivers available for download.