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I tried hard not to use the words "trouser press" - Songs of innocence and of experience — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Douglas Spencer

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I tried hard not to use the words "trouser press" [Nov. 11th, 2009|02:30 pm]
Douglas Spencer
I have an important meeting on Friday, for which purpose I recently bought some new trousers.

However, these new trousers of mine were about three inches too long in the leg. Hmph.

This morning, I rooted around in the sewing machine cabinet's drawers, and found some of that cunning iron-on hemming webbing stuff. I unfolded the ironing board, and then paused.

A while ago, I chucked out both of my old irons, each of which had been broken by the stepson before he left home about two years ago. Yes, stop laughing at the back, it is more than two years since I did any ironing. So now I don't own an iron. And, looking at the ironing board, the cover is in a shocking state. And that webbing must be about thirty years old -- it belonged to Anne's mother.

So I went shopping, and came home armed with a new iron, a new ironing-board cover, and a new packet of that cunning iron-on hemming webbing stuff.

(Warning accompanying the new iron, the new steam iron -- "do not allow this unit to be exposed to moisture". Hmmm.)

We'll draw a kindly veil over the scene where I took the trousers up. Suffice it to say that, while I understand the principles, my skill in tailoring is substantially less than my skill in, for example, configuring mail servers.

But now, my trousers are about three inches shorter. And all the creases are in the right place. And both the legs are the same length as each other, which I understand is quite important amongst those who care about such things.

Phew. Now I'm going to go and have a lie down. I might put some stitches in later, to guard against the possibility that the cunning webbing might not hold in real-world situations.

[User Picture]From: dougs
2009-11-11 03:17 pm (UTC)
They are indeed.
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[User Picture]From: dougs
2009-11-11 05:05 pm (UTC)
Bits of my living room carpet are fairly worn, but I didn't think it made that much difference.
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[User Picture]From: molly_brown
2009-11-11 03:19 pm (UTC)
Well done you! As someone with stubbly little legs (for whom all trousers are too long), I've tried taking up hems with the iron-on stuff and have invariably ended up with two crooked legs of different lengths.

As I can't sew, either, my only option is to either take trousers to the dry cleaners and pay them to take the legs up, or totter around in high platform shoes.
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[User Picture]From: dougs
2009-11-11 05:10 pm (UTC)
I'm actually quite capable of sewing, but the problem is keeping the various bits in position while I'm doing it. I think the webbing is going to help me in that struggle.

I really don't think high platform shoes would be a viable solution in my case.
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[User Picture]From: replyhazy
2009-11-11 03:49 pm (UTC)
Excellent! Well done!

The cunning webbing sometimes holds up to wear but not to laundering or dry cleaning. So a few stitches are a good idea.
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[User Picture]From: jon_a_five
2009-11-11 05:00 pm (UTC)
I don't want to sound like anybody's mother but did you not try them on in the shop?
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[User Picture]From: dougs
2009-11-11 05:06 pm (UTC)
I kept trying larger and larger pairs until I found one which went round my waist... and that rather reduced my choice of lenghts.
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[User Picture]From: sarah_mum
2009-11-11 05:09 pm (UTC)
Do you not own a stapler?
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[User Picture]From: dougs
2009-11-11 05:12 pm (UTC)
I looked around beforehand... I have three staplers, and two boxes of staples, but each of the staplers take different sizes of staples from each other, and the staples I've got don't fit any of them. One of the staplers actually had six staples in it, but that was the one that was jammed.
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[User Picture]From: purple_peril
2009-11-11 10:39 pm (UTC)
That sounds like one of those logic puzzles...
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[User Picture]From: darth_tigger
2009-11-11 05:40 pm (UTC)
I haven't ironed anything for about six years.
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[User Picture]From: purple_peril
2009-11-11 10:38 pm (UTC)
>And both the legs are the same length as each other
Blimey! Your trouser-fu is strong, short-legged one.

PS I haven't done any ironing for so long I don't remember when...
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From: ladytg
2009-11-12 07:59 am (UTC)
I haven't done any ironing since.... Tuesday.

Congratulations on a job well done but I have to ask...

... can I have your spare inches? Trousers up here in the middle land always seem to be "lacking" in the ability to keep my socks out of view (and you know how long my socks are!)
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