Douglas Spencer (dougs) wrote,
Douglas Spencer

Survey: Fifty heptothanatic questions

1. Who did you last get angry with?
Andy, my boss, phoned me this morning to ask why I hadn't done a bit of documentation which I completed on the 28th January. I emailed it to him at that time for feedback and he's been sitting on it since. Idiot.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Words. Much more deadly/painful/therapeutic than any of your conventional weapons.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Yes -- in fact I have done in the past. In a scene, which probably doesn't count for the purposes of this survey. I don't recall ever having done so in anger.
4. How about of the same sex?
Not that I recall.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Idiot boss. See number 1 above.
6. What is your pet peeve?
When something's not fair.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
Grudges are a waste of ... everything. They're all-round destructive. I'll do without.

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
Opening and dealing with my snail mail promptly. Often it waits for the weekend.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
The next day, when I've been ill.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't.
Usually, when I've not contacted someone, it's because I never really mean to.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I can't remember, there are so many.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
No, but if I'm doing something else (laptop-bashing usually) I don't bother turning them off.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
Never. No, that's not true. Annually I have a walking holiday, and I suppose that walking 200 miles carrying all your kit counts as a workout ... doesn't it?
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Maybe six?

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
A double tall latte, usually with a syrup.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Maybe six to eight pints.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
I still have my WeightWatchers gold card somewhere.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Not any more.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
I never turn any of the three down.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?
We used to keep rabbits. Nuff said. Mmmm, pie.

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
I don't know. Several. Plus several more in what might be called a theatrical setting.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
Rather fewer -- a half-dozen, perhaps. Plus, as before, several theatrically.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
Guilty as charged.
4. Have you "done it"?
Yes, for several versions of "it".
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
On a woman, the curve in the small of the back as it swells hipwards. On a man, the look in his eyes.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
No. I'm careful or abstinent, depending on the context.

1. How many credit cards do you own?
None, and only one debit card.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Any second hand bookshop. Recently an "arts" SHB in Bloomsbury, but most SHBs would do.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Convert it into Sterling. Then I'd buy a flat in London.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
I'm not sold on either state of affairs. I think that being rich would introduce fewer complications.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
No. I'd sooner love my work. I love my current job (boss notwithstanding) and they underpay me.
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes, but not recently.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Made my name as a poet, even if it is only self-published, only unpaid, almost-only online.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
My mother is proud of my theological expertise, bizarrely. I've not had anything to do with my father for nearly twenty years so I have no way of telling.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
I want to stay serene. happy would be an added bonus.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Not when I'm second to someone else. If I've done less well than I know I could, that's really galling.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
No, but I don't think it would stop me.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
I've talked myself into believing that it wasn't a cheat.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Nothing. But on Monday there was this.

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
I've answered this elsewhere. It's not going to happen and mentioning it got me into trouble, so I'm not repeating it here.
2. Who would you want to go on 'Changing Rooms' with?
I would do Richard's attic, he would do my kitchen. Remember my brother Richard in north Devon, the bloke with the crazy jumper?
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
No contest. I would stay as me.
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Yes. I'll have a skeleton that works properly, with joints that don't seize up and click and crunch and hurt when it's cold -- and as a side effect that would cure my deafness too.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Grace and flexibility and deftness of movement.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Not really. The concept is sound, but some of the questions could be better.

What is your favorite deadly sin?
Oh, that's not fair. They all have so much going for them. Sloth, Gluttony and Lust have to be the top three.

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